I want to start this post by clarifying that EDUC 490 was one of the most fulfilling educational and career experiences in my life. The opportunity to complete on-the-job training with a support system as strong as my professional triad, my informal septad, and my friends and family made my tiny 4-week experience enjoyable, beautiful, and vulnerable. With this in mind…

What did I learn? 

I learned that the most powerful thing that I can do for myself is to take control of my education. I have been given an indeterminable number of opportunities in my lifetime and it is up to me to take those opportunities. My coaching teacher this practicum gave me complete control over both quarters that I taught and I found the freedom incredibly fun and equally daunting. Any conversation with parents, guardians, administration, other teachers, and students was completely up to me. I had to make my own decisions and live with the information that I was giving to other people about myself, my integrity as an educator, and my personal pedagogy. I learned who I am as a teacher.

Why was this important to learn?

I feel really comfortable with my identity as a person. I take pride in my learning experiences and my representation of self. What I didn’t realize that I still had difficulty with was my identity as a teaching professional. When I was given the opportunity to make choices and live with the consequences, I started to realize what my comfort levels were like as a teacher. Was I okay with cellphones in the classroom? What did I deem an appropriate noise level? These are questions that I don’t think I could have answered prior to this practicum. Today, I know exactly what I am comfortable with in the classroom. This realization is important because it allows me to move on to the next steps in my personal learning journey.

Next steps?

I want to hone my craft inside AND outside the classroom. How can I contribute to the school? During a global pandemic, how can I instill a sense of community and connection? I want to become a teacher that helps students get to where they need to be. I want to get to a place where I can be vulnerable for them. This is all about their learning and I want to facilitate that in the most effective way possible.

This will not be an easy journey. I am going to be tired all the time. I am going to cry. I am going to go to bed at 7PM because today was just hard. One day, I will develop a sense of balance where I can handle all of these things. Today is not that day, and to be honest, I am alright with that. The journey is worth it.